


the youngest was the most loved

by lockedfromutopia



Category: Utopia (TV 2013)
Genre: Arby just wants to be left TF alone to be the best dad to Amanda, Canon-Divergence - Lee is colder than in the og script, Character Study, F/M, Family Bond, Family Issues, Lee has an EYES thing, No Plot/Plotless, Soft Utopia, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockedfromutopia/pseuds/lockedfromutopia
Summary: A short revisit to the scene in Tess's home when Pietre and Lee reunite, Lee's POV. S2.02
Relationships: Pietre/Tess





	the youngest was the most loved

**Author's Note:**

> pietre needs more love, but idk how to write him LOL.

Afraid as he was of Arby, Lee was helpless to be caught in those eyes, they’re such a pretty artic-blue, and had it been anyone else, Lee might’ve plucked them to be displayed but Arby would sooner kill him than offer any chance. At times, he wondered what it would be like to be inflicted with Arby’s meticulous malevolence, if he’d buzz with adrenaline at any point, or if it would be full-blown terror the whole time. Could Arby startle Lee into feeling something besides the mild pulses of fear and twinge of excitement he had next to him? 

When Arby worked, it was terrifying but artful in a grotesque way. Arby swayed in the afterglow of his kills, lost his footing for that moment and breathed harshly like a man gulping the last bit of air he’ll ever have before drowning. Arby preferred Lee to be the muscle, and Lee obliged even though the sight of Arby amidst dutiful violence was breathtaking. Sometimes after they'd finish a job, Lee would be tempted to tell a stupid joke that Arby would've never laughed at, or stun him with a dry backwards compliment to see if his straight face would've cracked. His face never changed, but Arby’s internal storm showed in his eyes; an imminent massacre at the hands of a broken child. He imagined other times, when Arby was in the middle of execution, to be in the victim’s place; the devastating hopelessness, the inevitability of the savage death, and the disrupted plea. It caught into the inside of Lee's throat sometimes, that wild terror would spread to him like phantasmal parasites released from their dead body followed by the echoing of their voices in his head, forcing his heart to beat to his ears and quickly glance away from Arby's steely, penetrative gaze.

It'd occurred few and far between, and even when it had happened, Lee couldn't make himself stop watching Arby completely. The twinge of sickly excitement and clenching fear, that he could so easily be in the space of a volatile man that could kill him at any given moment. Meanwhile Letts, the knob, couldn't be bothered to look him in the eye. The only times Lee swears that Arby’s face has really changed outside of the jarring mimicries of expressions he makes in a listless frown is when he sees children, whether in passing or during their violent ministrations, there'd be a quick flicker of wistfulness or muted anguish passing over his face that molded back to that frown. It isn't endearing, it's infuriating when Lee notices it. A killing machine like Arby couldn't have a stroke of empathy, because in their line of work, empathy was cancer. He had too much potential to be wasted, and Lee would sooner be killed by Arby's hands than allow him to deviate from his true design.

Except when Lee returns from his recovery, that’s what ended up happening in his absence. He sees bearded Arby dragging himself, raggedly breathing as he often did, but rather than the trusty bag, he's clutching a red coat in a clear wrap as he shovels a piece of bread into his mouth. Seeing his eyes almost makes Lee start, they've gone from ice cold and impenetrable to childlike brightness and sorrow like he's had a painful epiphany but has realized his actions make him deserving of it in some way. Lee hates the change in the story, Arby wasn't supposed to turn, and now, he knows this talk isn't going to go as easy as he initially thought.

They sit opposite each other with plates of food that Arby has offered Lee, and it’s another off thing that Lee is sickened by, besides the disgust for quinoa anyway. They’d never been friends, not really, even if Lee claimed them as such for convenience. Arby was quick to leave him for a visit to the takeaway café alone, if he wasn’t going to that abandoned facility to do god knows what. He kept Lee at arms length, and Lee thought he hadn’t minded it since Arby was no force to be reckoned with, but when Tess and Amanda walk in, he seethes with an unexpected surge of contempt that he hides behind a smile. Their eyes are clear and bright, the eyes of those who never had to know the intricacies of pain and horror fenced around them, but they'd learn it in due time, Lee thought. He sees Arby’s eyes flicker between one feeling after another when Amanda pulls the gas canister out of the bag and Tess remains unalarmed; alert, surprise, anger, horror, and if Lee wasn’t upset, he’d almost feel accomplished by it. 

“It was a nice holiday and you won’t forget anyone that you’ve met, but it’s time to come home now, where _you_ really belong, Arby.” Lee smiles grimly as he drags from his cigarette and speaks low, mindful of Amanda surfing the telly behind them. He'd wondered if Arby ever showed his pain when he was alone. On the face of it now, Lee doesn't feel as intrigued as he thought he would've. There’s only disappointment. “This isn’t for _you_. You know that, I know that. What d'you reckon were to happen, if you tried to make a break for it with them and Tess asks why? D'you reckon she'll accept it and move on? Be happy with a child murderer?"

Arby said nothing, but most conversations with him were nonverbal and Lee could read him by the small shifts in his expression. He learned it early on in their partnership. Arby’s widened eyes size down as he considered, Lee frowning and clicking his tongue. Arby looked back to watch him glance at Amanda, to the gas canister, then back at him. His eyes are angry again. 

"Not going to hear her out, Arby? It's the least you could do, don't you think? She _allowed_ the hiatus, but now it's time to get back to work..." Lee pauses as he slowly pulls the gun out of his pocket again, humming. "Or I s'pose, if you aren't privy to coming along, we can see who would be faster. Would you be able to disarm me or kill me before I could put a bullet into Manda's skull? I wonder." 

"Wait for me outside." Arby deadpans.

Lee doesn't know whether to feel more relieved or disappointed, he expected Arby to choose the non-violent option but he hates how much he's changed. Old Arby wouldn't have even challenged him to make such a ridiculous bet, old Arby wouldn't have left the Network while he was recovering, old Arby would've killed him the moment he realized the truth of his identity through the manuscript. He slides the gun back in its place. 

“We’ll be off then! ” Lee announces as he stands, clutching the bag. “Dropping by the pub for some catching up, if that’s alright, Tess?” 

"Sure it is. Don't be too long, _Arby_." Tess smiles in stifled amusement as she emerges from the kitchen to pull Arby into an embrace and kiss his grizzly cheek.

Arby's eyes change back to that soft wistfulness, he returns her peck and squeezes her in his arms before he lets her go. He walks over to Amanda, scoops her up, and holds her to his chest for a moment, Lee feels his smile peeling away so he turns toward the door to step out as Arby asked when he hears Amanda shuffling toward him but Arby stops her short gently.

"Aren't you going to let me say goodbye to your friend, Peter?" She asks.

"He's a stranger to you, and you don't hug strangers, Manda." says Arby, adding quietly as he lets her arm go slowly. "Pi _etre_." 

"That's what I said! Bye Peter's friend!" Amanda grins triumphantly, racing back to the couch with her collection of stuffed animals.

Lee says his brief goodbyes before he walks out first, Arby’s scalding gaze on his back until he hears him stopped by Tess reminding him she loves him. Lee walks further down to drag from his e-cigarette as Arby quietly returns the sentiment, then hesitantly closes the door and locks it behind him with his copy of the key. Lee glances, so many biting remarks on the tip of his tongue that he wants to say but decides against, angering Arby more than he has is counterproductive and will complicate things all the more. They walk the distance to the opposite side of the metropolitan area where an unmarked black car drives up to the curb to collect them, Lee tells himself that this is necessary and he could've been more severe by calling in for Tess's residence, but he didn't, because that will suit him later when Arby slips.

But he also knows now that there's no need to imagine Arby killing him, the promise was clear in those artic-blue eyes when Lee threatened his family, and stranger yet, it doesn't make Lee as eager as he hoped it would've.


End file.
